maybe i was too presumptuous. thinking that i could do something that i will probably never be able to. some people are meant for their lot in life. some get by quite nicely. few struggle to fit in the role. maybe i’m one of those few, especialy since i am definitely one big faulty individual. still, i will try to purge myself of my flaws, one way or another, lest i lose everything i have by being an obstinate fool.