slacker mommy files

    I am a bookworm. Any body who ever saw me in college would, for the most part, have seen me in more than one occasion, sitting in a corner with my nose deep in a book — mostly novels of the fantasy, gothic horror and sci-fi varieties. All of them, American or British novels. It was only this year that I have given thought to read local novels by local authors like Lualhati Bautista and Andres Cristobal Cruz. You see, I read mostly to entertain myself, to get out and explore worlds vastly different from mine, and to contemplate of various abstract subjects without tying them to anything that is tangible to me. Somehow, I don’t see any local books that do that, yet.

    When I read Luahati Bautista’s ’Gapo, I was made to face the harsh reality of things twenty to thirty years or so ago; I was brought to a time when the American bases were still in Olongapo, and racism was rampant among the American soldiers, African-American soldiers, and the Filipino residents of the city.

    The story revolved around the characters of Michael Taylor, Jr., an illegitimate son of an American Naval officer; Magda, a prostitute who is also a friend of Michael’s; Modesto, a Filipino working in the American base; and Ali McGraw, a Filipino transvestite who was looking for love from anyone. Their lives represent the condition of the Olongapo society under the shadow of the American soldiers. They endured the hardships of ridicule, marginalization, poverty and abuse, not just by the Americans, but from their own countrymen as well. It was a sad reflection on the miserable human condition aggravated by racism and the lust for the American dream.

    I have nothing against Americans; some of my internet friends are Americans. What disturbed me about this story was the Filipinos’ blind faith that the Americans will save them from poverty and destituteness; they believed that the only way they will ever be successful, the only way they can get out of the pitiful live they lead was to get to America, by any means, and never look back. It was sad for the novel mirrored reality in an almost exact clarity.

    But I believe that things have changed since the time illustrated in ’Gapo. I believe that people now are more or less comfortable in their own ethnic identity that they would see themselves at par with people from different nationalities, especially now that the world is much more smaller thanks to the internet. I believe that any Filipino can hold his own against any person from any such country and not cower. I believe that, or at least, I like to.

    I have former classmates, as well as friends and relatives abroad who walk and work among the people there, and they are just as successful as the rest of them. They are at par with those foreigners in their foreign lands and I salute them; they make me proud to be a Filipino. Pinoys like Efren Penaflorida, Jr. are testaments to what Filipinos can do and can become. The nightmare of the novel ’Gapo can easily be dissipated if we start to act not just for ourselves, but for our families and neighbors as well.

    I am just a mom who stays at home to look after her kids. I do not have a profession, nor do I even have a college degree. But I will try to do my part by trying to raise my kids to be respectful, responsible, humble and true to themselves. People talk about changing our society by voting this candidate or that candidate and expect changes to take place overnight. That is just plain stupid. changes don’t happen in the blink of an eye. Changes begin from inside oneself, then it spreads in the home, than on the street, then it infects everyone else. I would like my children to live in a better country than I grew up in, so I’ll raise them to be better citizens of a country they will grow up in.