slacker mommy files

    I was watching Lyka play last night, and I marveled at how far she has gone 21 months. She was already playing pretend games alone. Last night she was playing as a dog somewhat. XD

    First she took a plastic stool (locally known as a monoblock) and took a violet piece of cloth as table cover for the monoblock. Then she put her favorite frog doll on it and looked at it closely. Then she took the doll off the monoblock then tried to pick up the “table cloth” using her teeth. She even growled a little.

    I was having fun watching her like that that I eventually went daydreaming about the time when she’ll be playing with her younger sibling. Imagine two wannabe-puppies running around our house! XD

    Now that leads me to wondering how I’d manage two kids at home. I don’t want to rely too much on a sitter or house help but lately that’s what I’ve been doing. Granted, I’m pregnant but what if I get too used to it? Leejay says that he doesn’t mind it at all, really. And what do I think? No idea.

    Maybe it’s just petty pride, my idea of what a mom should be. I really do have to reconcile that idea, that a mom is not what she does, but what she is to her family. I guess i grew up with the idea that a mom is one who could do the chores, take care of the little kids, teach the bigger kids and be a very good obedient wife to her husband, and she does it all without seeming to burn out or anything. But as I get used to being a mom, I see that that it’s not the case in real life.

    You can be a mom without radically changing who you are. It takes a little adjusting though, as everything does, but you’ll still be a mom nonetheless. You just have to free yourself of the idea of the perfect mom. There is no such thing. Also, never compare yourself to other moms. That is unfair to you and to them. No mom is the same and no mom is better at it than any other mom. and I’m talking from what I’ve experienced so far.

    I have a short fuse. I really do and I’m temperamental, and I admit that sometimes I get to snap at my daughter when I’m in a cranky mood. But you know what? She still loves me anyway. She’d still seek me out when she’s sleepy, snuggle up and embrace me, and smile at me and kiss me every time she wakes. She knows that being cranky sometimes is a part of being me, and that doesn’t make me a bad mom. It make me human. Heheh, and moms are human too.

    I still try to better myself for my family but I will do it at my own pace. I don’t want to burn out too soon. There’s so much still to enjoy with my family.