Yesterday, I was just surfing the web, trying to adjust to the old life I left four months ago. There were a lot of funny things I read and saw, also a lot of “aww…” stuff as I would call them. There was also this one thing that made my head hurt a bit. It was about the petition being sign by thousands, if not millions of people in America right now. It is about the petition for for the way they covered the . CNN is, of course, not the only news network to cover the case, but they did get the brunt of the outrage. The coverage, from what I could gather, focused, and even sympathized, with the two convicted 16-year-old high school football stars, Trent Mays and Ma’lik Richmond. There was the air of pity and regret that these two young men will have the stigmata of being branded as sex offenders to haunt them their entire lives. It is this sympathy that sent Twitter ablaze.

Now here’s my take on all of this. I think that there is nothing wrong in how CNN covered the case. Granted, I’m not American, but I am a woman and I have two daughters, so I know where I’m coming from. Also, CNN’s stress on the ruined lives of those two young men, I believe, is a subtle reproach on the consequences of rape, at least on the convicted party’s part. Do you really need to crucify those boys? They were stupid! They were drunk! They barely know what they’re doing but they have an idea that it is wrong. Would that help anybody? Certainly not the boys and their families! Those boys are people, too. They’re parents, siblings, grand parents, aunts, uncles, cousins — they’re people as well. Don’t they deserve any sympathy?

These tweets are all focused on CNN apologizing to the victim, and maybe doing a segment on her, maybe an interview, I don’t know. But do you think hounding the victim for her thoughts, her outrage will do her any more good than just letting her be? She’s not looking to be a star, to have her shame hung out like laundry left to dry out in the sun. How exactly is devoting an hour-long segment on her and her experience help her? It won’t. It will just be further brand her as “the girl that was too drunk in the party she got raped by a couple of football stars.” Would that help her when she applies for college? Will that help her land her first job? Will that help her raise her kids? No. CNN did her a big favor by not focusing on her. This way, when all this hoopla is done, she’ll be forgotten. Once, she’s forgotten, then she can rebuild the pieces of her life shattered by this unfortunate incident.

Let’s teach our kids to protect themselves…

I do believe that the good netizens and the citizens of America have their hearts in the right place, but they are misguided in how they want to implement this. Giving a face to a rape victim will not just leave her more shattered by the reminder, she will also be open to ridicule, threats and harassment. Putting the culprits to shame and humiliation, and letting them do the time might help rehabilitate the offender, if they do want to be rehabilitated. Giving advice to teens and adults alike on how to save oneself from being rape could also help in preventing these rapes. But let’s be honest for once. You can tells kids not to drink at parties, not to accept drinks from strangers and people they just met. You can tell them not to go to seedy bars and clubs. You can tell them to come home early and always be with a trusted friend. But they won’t. They’re teenagers and young adults. They want to hold their lives by the reins and gallop away however they would want. They want their freedom. So unless you have raised them to be responsible from the start, they might be vulnerable to rape by doing stupid choices. I know, I’m stupid myself, so I know the risks. Then you’ll tell me about responsible women being abducted and raped and even murdered, well, that’s a different situation so don’t put that in this context.

All I’m saying is, leave the girl alone. Everybody knows about rape, and getting raped in parties and during dates. There are thousands of sources and pamphlets and articles and brochures on the subject. There is no one sure way to keep our kids safe in this world. But we live in it, and they will live in it. Our responsibility is not to keep our children safe, but to teach them how to keep themselves safe, and pray that they will do as we taught them. They will make decisions, and some of them will be bad , even as bad as the decision the kids from Steubenville, Ohio made. Some of them will be good as well. We just have to make sure that we taught them right, and that we let them know we love them and care for them without suffocating them. That’s the only way I know that I could arm my kids as they go out there in this scary-beautiful-wonderful-dangerous world that we live in. So don’t harangue CNN for the way they covered that rape case. You’re wasting precious energy. Instead look to your kids, make sure they know they’re loved, and arm them for the world. And hope they’ll keep safe.